so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
