And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm at about main and main street
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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