just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
