You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
