i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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