i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
