i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
