i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
