Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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