My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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