He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
