shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
