i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
