I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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