I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Found the puke drawer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
