we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
