You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
