Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize