we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
