So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
