Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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