i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
