Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
