So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
