The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What a dumb baby whore.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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