Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize