hotel room ftw
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
