Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
