you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
