Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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