i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
