wat bout pragnant strippers??
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
me + whiskey = a bad person
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
