do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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