I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
