Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
