i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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