I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
