they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
