Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
