Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
