What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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