its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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