Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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