So drunk, too bad you don't want this
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
