trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So vagazzling was a success
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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