Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
