We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my liver is dry heaving
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
