Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
