And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
