remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
