apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
