I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
