so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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