at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
