we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
