Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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