TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
