I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
