You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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