i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
