I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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