he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
