I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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