just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
