my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
