we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
