it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
