Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
