She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
