I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
