Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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