Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
