we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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