turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
