Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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