I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize